hmmm.....

I'm really at a point in my life... not sure whaT point... but I'm tired. I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I feel. I'm tired of being so uncomfortable in this body. I've said this over and over till everyone around me is like "whatever, talk, talk, talk, tired of hearing it...".

This time I'm serious. I almost feel like this weight is holding me back from my life. 2012 will be my year. And I'm debating on using my blog to do this. Before pics, feelings, eats, exercise routines, after pics... etc... Makes me accountable. Very nerve racking though! Because I'm sure I will have critics, and ppl using it to poke fun. But those aren't the ppl I'm counting on. I'm counting on supporters. So...... to blog on this journey or do it silently? Does anyone even read this? Lol.

Love!   

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poor neglected blog... :(

 I've completely neglected my blog.. too much going on. SIGH. and it's only going to get worse as Christmas nears. I'm really at a strange place in my life.. It's just this time of year too.. During the holidays I miss my Daddy more than anyone could ever imagine.. I love my family but the get-to-gether's and dinners are just not the same. Nothing is the same. And I have trouble with change. Always have. Anyway.

 I've posted one of my latest favorite pics. It was actually taken 4th of July at Smith Lake. The past couple of years we have gone to Duncan Bridge to watch fireworks and this was taken there. It's not fireworks. The main row of lights are all the red and green boat lights, you will notice the water on the bottom.. The settings on my camera were off, the original pic had red and green lights, I love the b&w edit. I think  I shall enlarge it and hang it in my house somewhere.

A cLAy wAy of tHinKinG !

Thought for the day: This morning I was fussing about people being 45 minutes early for their dental appointment.. we don't open the door till 9am.. but people continue to stand with their nose to the door till we open it, 45 minutes early! WEll.... seeings how that's all i really have to complain about, I shouldn't complain at all. LOL. But when I tell Clay about my frustrations, he replies..."well darlin, you should be proud, they are just really excited about getting their teeth cleaned, you shouldn't be so mean!" I love the way he thinks, its so much different than me.

thE bEst bIrthDay, & it's Not eVen mY biRthdAy yeT!

SOOO...... My birthday isn't until n
Tuesday, 10-4, but I think this is probably the best birthday I've had in a long time, ALREADY! Clay gave me the money to purchase my gifts from him on Wed, and last night my friend Kathrine gave me a FABULOUS HOBO WALLET I've had my eye on! I was beyond excited about it! Almost cried!! Then.. out of the blue, at the dental hygiene meeting at Old Venice in Tupelo last night, Mrs. Brenda, the lady who cleaned my teeth as a child, sat beside me. I had no idea if she still worked or was even in this area anymore... She is the reason I'm a hygienist. I always thought she was the nicest, prettiest person I'd ever met and I wanted to be just like her. So you can imagine my surprise to find her sitting right next to me! And SHE REMEMBERED ME! When I told her my name, she started asking about things and people from my childhood. She remembered my parents divorced, that my mom's mother lived on the coast, she remembered my old neighbors names... My heart almost exploded!
Second thought for this entry:::::::::::
It's amazing how life works itself out & how people come into your life for a reason. That reason may take years to surface but there is a reason for every single thing in your life.

«»«»Ramblings«»«»'since you've been gone I'm just a face in the crowd'

I'm tired of having a big ass.. I've never been a real skinny girl, and I'm ok with that. But the size I am now, and have been for a while now has really taken over who I feel like I am. This body is not mine! Lol. I've been working hard to change it. One hour a day, every week day, for going on 3 weeks now. I'm feeling much more energetic. And my swimsuit bottoms aren't quite as tight. Lol. That's all that has changed so far.. But that's ok cuz I know its taken me years to get this way, change will not happen over night! Patience, patience, patience!

Next subject::::::::
I'm tired of having this huge hole in my heart that every wonderful person in my life continuously tries to fill! It's not fair for anyone. Its so hard for me to get really close to anyone, even ppl I love and who I know love me... It's like it's safer to keep some distance because I always feel like they are going to leave or die or let me down or something. I do not want to be this way! It's cost me alot in my life! But I can not help it. It's like he was the one thing I knew would always be there but he wasn't, he couldn't be, not his choice, just his time.....

What brought this on... Watched the sweetest movie last night.. Waiting for forever.. The dad in the movie was sick, and died. It was like someone poured alcohol in the hole in myheart. I broke into the ugly cry. I'm so tired of this feeling!!  Its been 7 years....

Ok, I'm done now :S

Reduce, recycle, reuse.

Did you know hefty makes garbage bags that are made of 65% recycled material?? They are called Renew by hefty. And aquafina water makes water bottles out of 50% less plastic than other bottles??

Think about products before buying them! :) hope everyone is having a great sunday!

Some more RANDOMNESS!!

THought for the day....
I know absolutely nothing about my family history. Well, very little anyway. Daddy always tried  to tell me things and being the stubborn, hard-headed Tidwell I am.. most of it went in one ear and out the other...  at the time, what did i care? WHy would I want to know things about my grandparents who I never met, who died before I was even thought about... why would that ever be important to me? Weeelllll guess what? Now I want to know. I want to know every memory my Daddy had of his childhood, the good, the bad, and the ugly.. Buuuutttt.... he's not here anymore. So I will have to make do with accounts of my Aunts and Uncle. Which will be great but just not the same..

For those of you who don't know.. this blog has and will always have statements about my Daddy.. I could write the whole blog about him and my feelings and the way his death absolutely changed every fiber of my being, but I won't...  I don't want ppl to feel sorry for me, that's not the point. The point is, I have things to say,  if you want to know, read, and if you don't, good day :)

ANyway....  Back to the subject at hand.... keep a journal.... write down things for your children, memories, thoughts, experiences... anything... one day when you are no longer here to tell them things, they will want to know! Leave some sort of account of your life. Your simple, fabulous, boring, sad, happy, excited, depressed, normal life. Because that's what life is.. it's the combination of all these emotions.. Leave yours for your children because we are never promised another day.. LOVE! PEACE!

reCYcle. PLeaSe.

Please consider recycling something... Do your part for the planet, and the animals of the planet.   :)

 

American’s use 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour.

Plastic bags and other plastic garbage thrown into the ocean kill as many as 1,000,000 sea creatures every year! Ever heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? Its twice the size of Texas and floating somewhere between San Francisco and Hawaii. It’s 80% plastic and weighs in at 3.5 million tons!

www.dosomething.org

Most of our waste today is comprised of plastic. Plastic, which is made from petroleum, is a material that the Earth cannot digest. Every bit of plastic that has ever been created still exists, except for a small amount that has been incinerated, releasing toxic chemicals.

In the ocean, plastic waste accumulates in swirling seas of debris, where plastic to sea life ratios are 6:1; where birds and mammals are dying of starvation and dehydration with bellies full of plastics; where fish are ingesting toxins at such a rate that soon they will no longer be safe to eat.

The largest of these garbage swills is known as the Pacific Gyre, or The Great Garbage Patch.

www.greatgarbagepatch.org

Tree hugger? No. Aware? I try to be. Again, another –Ness! Awareness! I’ve always had a huge soft spot for animals. Any and all animals. An old episode of Oprah opened my eyes to the impact plastic has on our oceans. The show was about the Plastiki Project. The Plastiki was a boat made of plastic bottles that sailed around the ocean to bring awareness to this issue. It hurts my heart to know that animals of the ocean are suffering because of our stupidity. SO… I’ve tried very hard to recycle as much plastic as I can. I didn’t realize how much plastic we actually use at home. I usually have a full garbage bag full of plastic per week from home! That’s a huge amount of plastic I’m keeping out of the landfill. Just remember…. every single piece of un-recycled plastic ever produced is still in existence! What kind of world do you want to leave for future generations? Try to recycle at least one thing, may it be plastic, paper, glass… do your part. Please.

4Th of JuLy 2011!

Me & Leslie

SOOO.... my blogging kind of fell off the MAP! Sorry about that... I'm going to try to do better. LOL. I'm thinking of changing my blog title, because obviously I'm not very good at a picture a day for a year. ANy good ideas anyone?

Today's post is just a collage of the 4th of July. Randomness. Fun weekend for sure!! Makes me miss AlabAma.  :S  Ready to go back!  

Fire works over Duncan Bridge. Fabulous!



Melissa & Me!



Best dang centerpiece ever!

                                                                                                                                           

                  

                            



CraZy bOys! Double wakesurfing!



                                                      

                                        

                      



Melissa wakeboards for the 1st time!!



Leslie



















                                    

TIred girls! Molly & GInger!









  















6.1.11

Memorial Weekend Collection.. hOmE 2 mE!

 

Memorial weekend 2011 was fairly calm. Lol. Besides Clay almost sinking the boat because he forgot to put the plug in.....   :)   We wakeboarded, cruised in the boat, swam, ate, and then ate some more... The majority of the pics are from a little hidden waterfall up past Lakeshore. I could never explain how happy this place makes me. Clay said it best.. "darlin' the lake is to you what a dirtbike is to me".... i think he gets it...

5.24.11

5.24.11

Old days

Of course this is an old picture.. probably taken around 2004ish... I love this picture. It reminds me of really great times with really great ppl. All of whom are still in my life. Thank goodness. I remember most of this weekend like it were yesterday. I'm pretty sure this was the weekend Clay & I got engaged. Anyway. That's me and my sister in the pic. I brought this out of the past to remind me how I looked 40lbs lighter, and to try to remember how I felt 40lbs lighter. It was kind of like the new Beyonce song.. "who runt the world.... ME!" That's how I felt in this picture. Now why is it so hard for me to commit to losing that extra 40 I'm carrying around? My sister has lost hers! She looks amazing for those of you who have not seen her lately. She looks even better than in this picture! I'm so proud of  her!!!

I'm proud of her not just because of her amazing weight loss but because she is a wonderful mother, and so much more. I know I don't tell her like I should, I should do better...

HaPPy tUEsDay everyone!! love!

5.21.11

5.21.11

                                                                                  Houston, Alabama.

5.18.11

5.18.11

                                    THe liFE

This is what I did on 5.18.11...oH, and I folded 4 loads of laundry, washed dishes, painted 3/4's of my living room, planted a  mini-garden (bell peppers, strawberries, and asparagus), finished the book you see in the picture... I'm sure I'm leaving something out.... Btw. I slept pretty good last night! lol.

BIG THANKS to my friend Melissa for letting me use her pool the past couple of Wednesdays!!!!

I'm pretty sure if I don't finish this album I've been working on soon, Deanna is going to fire me! haha. Jk!

But I've really got to get focused and finish it! THe fabulous weather just makes it so hard!!!

I need a new book now! Any suggestions??

SN: I know some ppl have tried leaving comments.. but they are not showing up... I'm really blog illiterate and don't know what's wrong... HELp?

5.17.11

5.17.11
Hello BEAutiful!

In case you missed it... Last night's moon was absolutely amazing... this picture doesn't do it justice. But it was as close as I could get..

The weather is beautiful and Memorial Day weekend will be here soon. I'm so ready. Memorial weekend is always the "start" of Summer weather and Summer lake days! There are no words to explain how happy that makes me!

SN: Today I'm thankful for my life & EVERYONE in it. God has blessed me & I far from deserve it.

5.16.11

 5.16.11

hAPpY moNdAy!!

Just a few morning snapshots. UN-edited.

Pretty good weekend overall.. Friday night, my b/f/f graduated nursing school! Congrats again Maggie! After the ceremony my sweetie and I went to Harvey's for dinner. FabuLOUs! Saturday.. Wedding in Corinth all day... Awesome reception area at Shiloh Ridge in Corinth... Sunday.... little house work.... and now.. It's MonDay again, and all day...   :)

5.14.11

5.14.11
Actually taken on 5.13.11 between Fulton and Tupelo on 78.. It was WAY cooler in person!! But everything usually is...

5.13.11

5.13.11
                                                           Look Out World!

5.12.11

5.12.11

Look who I found while walking Molly!

This is probably the meanest turtle I've ever seen! Molly wasn't even interested in him, thank goodness! Hope everyone is having a good week! I layed out yesterday and got my first sunburn of the summer! Painful bliss.  :) My lil' nephew Reid graduated pre-k this morning. So sweet! Just a reminder of how old I'm getting..... hmmmmm.....    :)

5.9.11

I'm really falling behind. There just aren't enough hours in a day for me. I've had something on my mind for a few days now.. I stopped by the cemetary where my Dad is on last Wednesday. It looks terrible. Grass overgrown, the fence is falling down, I'm sure from the weather week before last.. I am ashamed of myself for letting it get that way. For as long as I can remember Daddy kept that place neat and to a "T"....
I lack one of my favorite qualites of my father. Devotion. It even shows in my blog. I can't stay devoted to it enough to take a picture a day. I must do better. I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

5.4.11

5.4.11
And Bella took over my chair! :)
I promise soon I will take some cool pics... I've just been so busy. Lucky to be so close to up to date..

Side note: If I have another crazy dream like last night, there will be no more sleeping for Sara!

5.3.11

5.3.11
Sam found my chair

5.2.11

My 1st Strawberry!



5.1.11

5.1.11

:)

My pink cotton tag makes me smile.

4.30.11

4.30.11

Houston, WE HAVE A PROBLEM! LOL.

Saturday Molly and I took a little road trip to Alabama to the cabin. (for purposes used here we will refer to our single wide house trailor, on Smith Lake as a cabin) We rent this little place with another couple, very good friends of ours. And we have great neighbors over there! I can not explain with words how happy this place makes me. It's by far nothing special to look at or fancy in any way. But there is something about the swing on the back porch, with the waterfront view that makes my heart happy. Laying on the dock in the sunshine, cruising in the boat taking it all in, or finding a "beach" to relax on with the neighbors... I swear, I'd move over there in a second if I could. Anyway... about today's picture... our dock has issues. And when I saw it, I really laughed out loud. Still not sure how it happened. But it is completely turned around! The walkway is probably in about 6 foot of water...fun for the boys to fix when we all actually get to go for a whole weekend! lol. Hopefully that will be next weekend...   :)

4.29.11

4.29.11

The Blue Suede Cruise

Friday night was a perfect night for The Blue Suede Cruise car show in Tupelo. I love looking at all the old cars. The old wagons and muscle cars are my favorite!

Something to share...

I don't have a pic for this but I thought I'd share anyway.. On my way to work this morning I saw two of the sweetest examples of animal love...
The first.. There is a black & white dog that lives at the end of our road, some sort of pit or bulldog mix. Anyway, not sure he really  belongs ot anyone but someone is feeding him. He has been around for atleast a year now, never seen him chase a car or cross the road without looking. This one particular house near the end of the road has 2 new puppies that like to chase cars. I know any day I'm going to come through and one will gotten run over. But this morning I passed this house and the black and white dog was standing between the road and the puppies. Facing the puppies almost like he was telling them to not chase the truck. I watched in my mirror as I passed and as the puppies started toward my truck the black and white dog jumped at them almost as if to get on to them. Like he was protecting them or trying to teach them not to chase cars. It was really awesome.

Then I passed by a pasture on Hwy. 9 where a mini horse was laying on the ground while a cow rubbed it's back with her nose. Scratching her itch.

I love animals.

4.28.11

4.28.11

Lunch by Ms. Mary

Ms. Mary cooks lunch @ a family friend's house on Thursday... by far the best tastin' home cookin'  I've had in a while! Those sweet taters are to die for!!!

Thought for the day.. taken off a friend's facebook status... Thank God for this normal day!

......

working on blog layout... what do you think?

4.27.11

4.27.11
AfTeR thE sTOrM!












 Today's weather was AWFUL! Storms & tornado's pounded the entire state of  Mississippi... not to mention all surrounding states. Me and Molly ventured to Grandma Baldwin's house twice! (she has a basement)! This afternoon I was glad I went. A funnel cloud was spotted over Randolph supposedly headed toward Springville... our area. SOO scarey! But we were lucky this time. 10 Years ago we weren't so lucky. I will never forget that day or the days that followed. That memory is why I am so scared of bad weather now.
 Coming home after the second round of storms, this was the view over the field across Salmon Rd. The sky was sooo blue one way & sooo dark the other. It was almost like sunshine and blue skies were chasing away the black clouds! It was beautiful! My thoughts and prayers go out to the families affected by this weather all over the south.

4.26.11

4.26.11

E.T. Fingers

One of my cool little plants purchased from Wal-Mart. Strange! I know.

4.25.11

4.25.11

My 1st bellpepper!

I bought a strawberry plant and bellpepper plant last week, and no strawberries yet... but I have a tiny bellpepper! It's sooo cute!! I also bough a couple of other cool little indoor plants, pics coming later..

4.24.11

4.24.11
My Sam

Easter Sunday was a beautiful day spent with family! One of the best families ever! And as part of the family, Sam posed for some pictures. lol. He is our 7 year old Chocolate Lab. He is the 100 pound baby who thinks he is a lap dog. It's a little over-photoShop'd but I like it.. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

4.23.11

4.23.11
Mr. McCullough's Store

Today I was on my way to a wedding in Verona when I passed by an old familiar site. Mr. McCullough's store over off of Black Zion Road. Although it looks kind of sad now, all closed down, with yard sale remnants laying out in front. The gas pumps have been long gone. It used to be a very nice little country store.  Mr. McCullough ran this store for years. He was a very nice older gentleman who I remember always wore overalls, and always wanted Daddy to "buy that girl some candy or an ice cream." I remember we used to go over to Mr. McCullough's when we needed a few things at home.. bread, milk, sugar.. Not really enough to go ALL THE WAY TO TOWN. It's kind of sad that the day of the small general store is fading. Now days we have Wal-Mart and the Dollar Store. But there's nothing like walking in a business where they call you by name when you come in the door, and ask how your family is doing (and really care). Sure there is a greeter at Wal-Mart, but we all know it isn't the same...
SN: It was a beautiful day!

4.22.11

4.22.11
Peek-a-boo!


There is a family of squirrels living in the big tree in front of my house.
That makes me happy.

4.21.11

4.21.11

My favorite lunch! If you have not tried the Candy Bar in downtown Pontotoc, you should! They make some of the most fabulous candy & sandwiches! My favorite to date: Chicken salad on a croissiant, Lays, & one of their pickle slices. I don't know what they do to their pickles but they are sooooo good!!  

YAY!

I have 2 followers! yay! thanks y'all!! :) seriously, made my day!

Picture #1!

4.20.11

Welcome Catherine Alyvia!

Today was a wonderful day! We welcomed a new addition to the family. My new baby niece! Catherine Alyvia was 7lbs 8oz and 19inches long. With a head full of dark hair. She's precious! She was welcomed into the world by SEVERAL family members! Which makes me think of the young girl we saw being wheeled into surgery for a c-seciton as we arrived this morning. The only person with her to welcome her baby into the world was her mother. That made me sad. Where was the father (or sperm donor)? Did she have any other family? Why was her mother the only person standing in that hall waiting to see the precious angel that God had blessed her with today? I'm hoping they all had to work and were coming later. As we stood in the hall waiting for Catherine to make her appearance, I realized once more what a wonderful family I have. All families are a little dysfunctional. LOL. But I was definately blessed with a good family. And I'm very thankful for them. ALL of them.